The other day, a friend asked me if I was a feminist and I hemmed and hawed and qualified and... I finally had to admit that, even if I had some pro-female qualities, I really couldn't label myself as a feminist.
And then within only a few short days, I was called out on several occasions for saying or thinking things that really were counter to the feminist movement. I like to think of myself as more of an egalitarian, somewhat progressive and forward-thinking, typically politically correct, culturally aware, etc, etc, etc. I also am fairly aware that I have a ton of middle-class-white-educated-male-I'msurethere'salotmore privilege, and I do a fairly decent job of recognizing when someone says something fundamentally ignorant or racist. But twice? In two days? Being corrected for very male-centered thinking?
This morning while I was playing basketball, I found myself wondering how certain darker-skinned guys (how do I say this without being racist?) had a very similar cadence/accent to their speech. Is it just because they were raised that way? Because they've been around it from a young age? Is it a conscious choice or something that just happens? And then on the way home, the Ted Radio Hour addressed just this issue. An African woman talked about how she had control of three "languages": her native African dialect, the African-American dialect she was raised on, and her "articulate" American dialect she's developed so people think she's "qualified." The program further went on to describe how even Prime Minister Tony Blair (definitely not American) was considered "more American" than Barak Obama.
And then Paul Bloom went on to say something that really stuck with me:
You can't change implicit biases by just sitting in your room and concentrating, saying, "I'm not going to be racist, I'm not going to be racist." But what you can do is, you can actively expose yourself to real-world instances which give you maybe a more accurate and more fair representation of these groups.
Maybe I am a bad feminist. And I probably have a lot of hidden biases that will come up with terrible timing. And I certainly hope I'll be corrected in the future for my self-centered thinking. But instead of being sorry for this reproof, I should welcome it as real-world instances that give me a glimpse into another group.
So I'm going to stick with Roxanne Gay on this one, and proudly proclaim that I, too, am a bad feminist—and that's not a bad thing.
Hear Hear.
ReplyDeleteI feel like people who are quick to cast judgment on someone's belief systems usually do so in a quickly emotional and uneducated manner. They may be too lazy or not committed enough to careful evaluate their quick decision, and bank on the shocking bewilderment of the accused to avoid retort. Plus to challenge seems to only fuel the fire for ignorance.
If someone is being blatantly ignorant that's one thing, but innocence should not be confused with that. Not everyone will be passionate in the same ways as others, and that would be an unfair expectation to assume with others. Their exposure and experiences are different, and that can be celebrated and educated in a respectful manner. To accuse someone rather than inform someone is a terrible way to inspire people about issues you're passionate about, and the fault be with the accuser. It's like me and chocolate ice cream. People like it and profess it to be a favorite flavor, but I couldn't care less for it. That doesn't make me contrary, and it doesn't make them right. Just different experiences and different passions.
Hear Hear.
ReplyDeleteI feel like people who are quick to cast judgment on someone's belief systems usually do so in a quickly emotional and uneducated manner. They may be too lazy or not committed enough to careful evaluate their quick decision, and bank on the shocking bewilderment of the accused to avoid retort. Plus to challenge seems to only fuel the fire for ignorance.
If someone is being blatantly ignorant that's one thing, but innocence should not be confused with that. Not everyone will be passionate in the same ways as others, and that would be an unfair expectation to assume with others. Their exposure and experiences are different, and that can be celebrated and educated in a respectful manner. To accuse someone rather than inform someone is a terrible way to inspire people about issues you're passionate about, and the fault be with the accuser. It's like me and chocolate ice cream. People like it and profess it to be a favorite flavor, but I couldn't care less for it. That doesn't make me contrary, and it doesn't make them right. Just different experiences and different passions.
Yes. I like that distinction between "innocence" versus "blatant ignorance." I think it's important to not be afraid of addressing your own innocences when they appear, but to avoid "blatant ignorances" at all costs.
Delete